Digital Journal, February 12, 2010 - Priest's 'submissive women' sermon splits congregation

A number of female members of a South England church are said to be angry at a sermon delivered by the church's curate. He suggested that wives should submit to their husbands if a marriage is to work. Wives are to submit to their husbands in everything in recognition of the fact that husbands are head of the family as Christ is head of the church. This is the way God has ordered their relationships with each other and Christian marriage cannot function well without it. As if we are being told to let our husbands talk for us. And which husband? I divorced my previous husband because he threatened me and my children – am I supposed to listen to him?

COMMENT: We agree with what the minister tried to convey in part, which was, wives are to submit to their husbands, however, it appears that the message was not conveyed properly. For instance, when the minister states that the wife is to submit in everything, nowhere does the Bible state such. She is not to be treated as a slave. "And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him" (Genesis 2:18). It is an assistant. That carries a lot of responsibility. The woman should be able to take full responsibility in running the home while the husband is employed. For the man to do this that means he ought to have married a likeminded woman. Therefore, consider that a woman is not really submitting to the husband, but rather the woman is helping to execute the desires of both husband and wife in the home. So man's first mistake is marrying for lust and not being of like mind. There is no way a marriage of unlike minds can be modeled after the biblical guidelines.
Then the objectionable woman in the article states something very important. What if a man is not godly? This is what gives the whole submission thing a bad taste. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord" (Ephesians 5:22). In fact, read all of the description found in Ephesians 5:21 through 33. Verse 21 begins with "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God." Hardly a message is heard about the husband submitting to the wife. She does have a mind. She can raise good, biblical concerns. Neither should make impulsive decisions or decisions based upon what one feels. Both are to be doing what God would have them to do. As it clearly states, the woman is to submit only to the husband while he lives in the fear of God. In other words, she submits while he is acting godly. In verse 25, it says, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." This means if a wife is to submit to the husband, the husband better be acting like Christ did for the church. How did He act? "And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all" (Mark 10:44). The woman’s needs are to be met. Husbands are to be the servants. Let the wife put her feet up and go get her a glass of water. She just took care of the kids all day! Therefore, if a husband does not treat the wife right or requests something that is against God's ways, she is in no way to submit. Now not every aspect has been addressed in this article, but this point is true, blind submission by women was never God’s plan.